If you can't beat them, quit the game?
Things really heated up on GAFC today as now apparently there is some sort of a conspiracy among women to "recycle" a certain group of men while totally ignoring the rest. Frankly, I don't buy it. I think it's just simply overanalyzing the situation. When you start using mathematical models and psychology to explain why you are still single, I think there is a serious problem and it's time to take a step back.
So what am I going to do? Step 1: relax. There is more to life than just relationships. Thinking about it 99% of the time is simly not going to help. Step 2: try and forget my previous relationship. This is very hard to do. It is stuck in my head like some stupid catchy song you would hear on TV. Sometimes I have to really force myself not to think about it. The past few weeks have seen improvement - at the very least, I didn't have any more "breakdown" incidents. Step 3: stick with what works. I should try and focus on my job. Maybe start another independent project. Try for better grades in school. Work out. Things like that will not only aid me in the long run, but also make me a more attractive person. I know a year from now if I look back at myself and the things I did I'm going to think it was stupid and pathetic. It has to end here.
So while I'm not going to entirely quit the game, I am going to start playing smarter. Once I restore my self-control, I know the next relationship will be just around the corner.
So what am I going to do? Step 1: relax. There is more to life than just relationships. Thinking about it 99% of the time is simly not going to help. Step 2: try and forget my previous relationship. This is very hard to do. It is stuck in my head like some stupid catchy song you would hear on TV. Sometimes I have to really force myself not to think about it. The past few weeks have seen improvement - at the very least, I didn't have any more "breakdown" incidents. Step 3: stick with what works. I should try and focus on my job. Maybe start another independent project. Try for better grades in school. Work out. Things like that will not only aid me in the long run, but also make me a more attractive person. I know a year from now if I look back at myself and the things I did I'm going to think it was stupid and pathetic. It has to end here.
So while I'm not going to entirely quit the game, I am going to start playing smarter. Once I restore my self-control, I know the next relationship will be just around the corner.
posted by Ld at 12:20 AM
3 Comments:
I think anyone can "beat" the game. My BF told me how he made himself a more attractive person (similar to what you've lined out - you're on the right track!)
1) Get into really great shape.
2) Get to an emotional point where, if a date doesn't work out, it's not a catastrophe. (I guess you could call this "not feeling desperate").
3) Stop being a pushover. By this, I mean he asserts his opinions, shows some emotion, and doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do. Rather than just accept what the woman gives him (and agreeing to all of it.)
4) Venture out of his comfort zone to meet women. He and I met at speed dating which, for some, could be considered an ordeal. :)
Just like girls need to learn how to talk to and be around guys (e.g. complain lightly, don't nag, be outgoing, smile, and look him in the eye), guys can need to learn how to talk to and be around girls. Consider the guys who have some skill in this the "recycled" group and those with little skill, the "uncycled" group.
I think number 2 and 3 are the really important ones.
Number 1 strongly support number 4 and number 3, and number 4 support number 2.
And I agree that skills are what moves people from group to group (and that the group concept is only partially valid.)
Those are all good tips. At least I'm glad I have a motivation do this stuff now because when I was in a relationship it simply wasn't there.
-LD
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