Thursday, June 02, 2005

God is a prankster ... And he owes me $80.

If you are wondering how we dorks end up being so .. dorky, here is a nice example. Actually it's quite easy, we don't look for trouble, trouble finds us.

Today I had an important meeting. So important, in fact, that I decided to skip lunch for the fear of accidentally making a stain on my shirt. I get my Outlook reminder 15 minutes prior, pack up and go. It's a nice sunny day, nothing to worry about.

And then it happens. It's one of those things that happens so fast you only have time to think to yourself "OH SHIT". I was walking about 4 feet behind another guy, and as I looked down I saw a ketchup packet (the kind you get at McDonals). The next thing I saw was him stepping on the packet in just the right way, completely unaware of the impending disaster. And then the thing explodes in my face spraying me from head to toe with gooey red chunks of ketchup. The crotch area took the brunt of the ejecta; additionally there were at least 50 small (1/8") stains on my pants and about 10 stains on my shirt, including a nice blob on my right sleeve. All this happened in less than a second.

At first I wanted to scream "FUCK!!!" but instead I just burst out laughing. I ran back to work, cancelled the meeting, and went to the bathroom to wash off. Fortunatelly I didn't run into any coworkers and didn't have to explain what the heck happened. After some unsuccessful attempts to clean the stuff off I went to The Gap and bought a new set of panths and a shirt.

Could this have happened to anyone else but me? Absolutely not. Obviously I have become too serious and this was somebody's way of telling me to chill out, relax, and never, ever skip eating lunch because of work.


Blogger Karen said...


Maybe "God" was giving you an excuse to strip at work. ;)

Heh. You said "ejecta". Heh.

(Keep a change of clothes at work!)

1:31 AM  
Blogger NJX70 said...

When I was in high school I was messing around with one of those long mayo packets at lunch and it popped. I looked down and said, "fuck, now I have mayo all over my fucking hand!" and then everyone starts laughing like crazy people and I look up... The packet had only grazed me, but it nailed my buddy AJ right in the side of the face. He looked like a bukakke victim from hell. Whole side of his face, ear, and hair were covered in warm white mayo.

6:38 PM  
Blogger Bensinger333 said...

I hate it when my panths get dirty, too...

7:29 AM  

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