Friday, June 03, 2005

Post-Collegenism: Chapter 3 - My Life, My Bus

I have taken the same bus for 4 years. I've taken it too school, to work, to dates, to graduations, to formals and social events. I've been in 2 accidents while on the bus. I've traveled the route in as fast as 23 minutes and as long as 3 hours (on a particularly bad day of traffic). I know where to seat so that I won't feel guilty about not giving up my seat to a woman. I came up with a "bus rules" set of rules that make bus riding more effecient (my now-ex is the only one who saw it; she thought I was nuts. I will publish it here some day). I know everything and anything about the bus. I AM THE BUS.

So an obvious question is: what is the value of the bus in finding a date? To an outsider the answer is clear - the passenger community is 70% women. However things are not so simple. Here is why:

1) The first rule of the bus is that you do not talk on the bus. It's not posted anywhere, but the bus ride is entirely silent except for the occasional cellphone call. Sometimes two passengers who know each other ralk, but talking to a stranger is unacceptable. A lot of people sleep, read, or listen to music (like me), further adding to the silence.

2) You don't want to become a bad customer. There are a few folks who do talk to stangers on the bus. Once is a mentally insane women. The other is a happy-go-lucky 70 year old grandma. Than there is the guy who tries to hit on women "across the isle". Nobody like these folks and does everything in their power to seat as far away from them as possible.

3) The odds are good but the goods are odd. Unfortunatelly I'm afraid most women on the bus may be 25 or older. OK, I'll be honest, some of them do look 21. Let me do a quick life of whom I ran into recently:

a) Strabery girl - she got on somewhere in the middle-end of the station sequence and sat next to me. There was a sit in front next to a nice grandma with definatelly more room than next to me, yet she shose to sit here. Throughout the ride she kept playing with her hair and putting on lip gloss that smelled like a strawbery. It was quite a turn on, actually.

b) Blondie - a lot of messed up blonde hair, a stupid blue sweater, dirty sneakers and a white skirt. I found that quite hot! She was reading some sort of a fantasy book, fell asleep on the bus, her hair got even more messed up. There is something that attracts me to people like that, I'm not sure what.

c) No-name girl from my stop - as the name implies she gets on at my stop. She is good looking, and also kind of tall. One thing she has going for her is that I get on at the same time as her every day. 2 days ago the bus was almost empty, yet she took the sit diretly behind me. Today I repeated the favor. We'll see where this goes. This is the type of communication that goes on on the bus. Nothing more, nothing less.

Oh, and one last thing, what all these girls have in common is - you guessed it - no rings!

6 Comments:

Blogger Karen said...

"The odds are good but the goods are odd" - heh! Funny!

LD, you're dissing girls 25 and older? I guess I'm past my prime, huh? ;)

12:20 AM  
Blogger Ld said...

Not at all Karen, lol! :)

I just think 25 year old girls would definatelly not want anything to do with me. When I turn 25, I will gladly date them however.

11:35 PM  
Blogger NJX70 said...

dude, that's just as good as "good from far but far from good" and that's saying A LOT! Prepare to have your line stolen and used as my own in every and all social situations where it is appropriate without any recognition of where it came from.

6:35 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

I loved that line about odds and goods too! Instant classic.

In Canada, bus people are quite friendly. I have made many friends on the bus. I miss the bus. I hate cars. Buses are so much more social!

3:08 PM  
Blogger NJX70 said...

wtf is going on with GAFC??? I was supposed to have a fantastic post up today and the site is down! Grrrrr.

9:24 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

do you ever try to break the rules on the bus?

during the whole SARS scare a few years ago, i'd take the bus sporatically, and i'd just start coughing. heh! more often than not there was A LOT of space to be found nearby. or, while talking on the phone, start discussing your case of TB...

the regular passangers clearly disliked me, the newbie.

there are many opportunities for funnies on the bus. we like you, bus.

10:58 PM  

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